I just feel so lost. Am I really getting from bad to worse, in the sense of sensitivity or the feeling of self-centered-ness is overpowering me? It just looks such a facade to say that I lost the motivation to attend lessons due to some real crappy reasons. Or the ever-so-frequent mood swings that makes everything so real even though it initially is simply pretence.
Am I taking things for granted? Or is it that I am slowly losing my grip on my life, my personality and my every other things? I think I'm a sore big loser if I can't express face to face but having to resort to blogging to vent all my emotions.
It's been a long time since I've blogged about my emotions so openly after all those unfortunate events took place. Yet think I'll go crazy if they are pent up in me. I'm so afraid that it will destroy me and what I hold dear to. Hurtful words that should not been articulated but spilled out during the insanity of the mind. Irreversible damage inflicted even though there is no intention whatsoever.
Giving is more blessed than receiving; there is still a limit to the act. Things will definitely go wrong if breached. A heart is akin to a glass figurine. Pretty to see, dear to treasure. But once broken, it will never be the same even if mended. I think I'll go to Hell if I were to be punished in accordance to this saying:
"Be very careful if you make a woman cry, because God counts her tears. The woman came out of a man's rib. Not from his feet to be walked on. Not from his head to be superior, but from the side to be equal. Under the arm to be protected, and next to the heart to be loved."
I failed. Badly.
