Utterly disappointed

With my Wushu people. Sorry, no longer considered as friends. They are getting a present for Shifu for Teachers' Day and yet, they did not inform me thru SMS that they are getting one for him and in the end, I've to share a present with Guanting that cost me 30 bucks.

Look, if you no longer consider me as one of the Wushu member, then don't come up to me with the fucking cheek to say that people still care about me. Enough of the hyprocrisy. I've lived long enough for it. Period. Really, does things need to be so screwed up until I have to quit Wushu? If things keep up as it is, I would have to quit Wushu and concentrate on CEC first.

Damn it.

I'M FUCKING PISSED RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sianz

Here I am, still unable to sleep... gosh this is the second day where I've tried to sleep at 2am and yet unable to do so... wonder what's wrong with me man.. if this goes on I really need some sleeping pills liao...

God help me!!!

SCE DnD

Yep... participated in the DnD last saturday. Well not too bad, just that the ladies there seems to over-expose their boobs... ok, granted that some are well-defined, but then some bobs are really like drooping.. gosh... but well, it's their preference for dressing.

Dinner was a flop.... things are moving so slowly that I seriously want to puke.. haiz forget it la. Bad memories are meant to be thrown away. Here are some of the pictures of the night.



This is the one with my OG, Ares... those standing are the seniors and those squatting are freshies... Me, Cai Yi and Tony..



The 3 Ares freshies...



Tim, Cai Yi, Xin Yi and Me



Me and Suci



Me and Loowee. Looks wrong though. LOL



Lastly, Me and Cai Yi. One minor point though... she's on tiptoes when she took the photo. LOL.

Updates

Lots have taken place since my last entry... wanna put them on hold until tomorrow... till then... gotta wait...

Running for Logistics

Haha.. seems crazy, to think that this bai ka haven't recover from his injury from 2 months ago and now he's like running for this siong position.. lol anyway decided to try my luck in doing so. Wish me all the best man!!!

On a more serious note, I seriously must thank Kaijian for showing me yet another time the path I should take after making up my mind about Bernice. Seems that even though I told myself that it's over, yet sometimes, from the way I speak, it appears that I haven't done so.. well... it's true that I need time to heal this wound, but in the meantime I need to put it behind me and continue my journey of life. I cannot be held back just because of 1 isolated incident. What has passed is past. I HAVE to get my engine back into action and not still indulge myself in memories and lick my own sore wounds.

I have to stand up tall. I will do my best to work hard. I still will socialise, only that it's hard for me to fall for another person (a female, mind you) right now... I'm simply too drained. LOL.

...

Well... not much updates, though spent my National Day in hall without watching the NDP... sad but oh well.. my archer gotten stronger. LOL. For today, quite bad.. wonder what has happened. Maybe slacked too much, skipped 1 lecture and 1 tutorial. During afternoon, suddenly felt super depressed.. because of someone.. yeah and after that, best of all... bumped into her, though I kinda acted as though I didn't see her, but then, seriously, I don't think I have the courage to face her again.. haiz. I'm such a coward...

LOL!!!

Has been a long time since I've updated this blog... been busy with lectures, tutorials and lastly, my online game ConquerOnline. haha. Wow, it's only the second week but it's kinda like the stress is building up. According to my friend, we have another 88 more days to exams >_< WTF... though I'm still like slacking around even though I've been saying that I wanted to concentrate on schoolwork this semester. Haha. Well, not too bad though, finished a couple of my tutorials and now starting on my labs. And thanks to Kaijian, who shared with me a story about university lecturers. Think they are good? think again.

Last semester, one particular tutor took the class of the ABP students. No names mentioned here,(and also can't remember his name) the module was about Logic Design... this particular tutor had a knack for making mistakes in the provided solutions in tutorials, so one day those students were so bored that they decided to pull a prank on him. What they did was that during this particular tutorial, the tutor provided the correct solution, but they purposefully provided a wrong answer and initially the tutor was skeptical. However, they managed to convince him that the wrong answer was the right one. And in the end the tutor was convinced and he asked the class, "So... is everybody clear with this question?"

WTF!!! This pattern also can ar.. and to think that people feel that university students are smart asses... kaoz... lucky this guy isn't my tutor right now. Though for 6 of my modules, 2 are with ABP students... wa... *stressed* *stressed*.

Haiz...

Almost all of my study group friends face problems with their emotional life... haha same here. But it's just that compared to them, they seem to fare better than me. At least they do not do anything to harm themselves bodily. Yet me... the more I want to say that I want to quit, the worse the feelings gets. I know that I've seen the clear skies before me, but still... I don't seem to have the courage to face up to reality.

Yes, the feeling's gone now, I don't experience any of those mood swings that I've had in the past. Right now I'm emotionally barren. Just wanna concentrate on studies and nothing else. But like just now, when I was doing my 204 tutorial, I saw her heading towards me with Edmund. But I acted as if I didn't see her. Just concentrating on studies. And for them, they took a turn to the CE GO. It's just so hard to face up to her and pretend that everything's fine and done with.

Well, maybe I should keep poisoning myself till I can really get over what I should not have felt. Sorry Simin, Adlina, but it's just that your friend here just do not have the courage. I'm just a coward, unlike the confident me that I usually portray in front of you guys.