Promise broken

Yeah.. so much about hibernating for 2 months, but I can't help but blog about what has happened to my friends for these past few days and also about my personal life.. so here goes

Are love and infatuation two separate entities or can love develop from infatuation?
It is a blessing to be able to develop a relationship with the opposite sex.
But why is it that some people appears to be blessed with people who is always there ready to cherish them?
And other people would be like develop feelings for this particular guy/gal but dare not pursue these budding feelings?

Is it the fear of rejection or is it due to their low self-esteem/ self-confidence?
Or is it that they are afraid of these few words,
"You can find a better guy/girl than me..."
"I do not know what I've done to make you think that way, but we are only friends..."

I do not know these answers, and I seem to be unable to find these answers.
I wish to know the answers, yet on the other hand, I do not want to know them.
People say truth hurts. Yes, it scars. But why some people seem to be able to pick up the broken pieces so easily?
Is it that I'm good a guy and ladies prefer bad boys over SNAGS?


I just feel like a sore loser.
Listening to people sharing their secrets with me and I giving analysis of their problems like some big fuck
While I cannot even settle my personal problems with a clear head.
I may have gotten over her, but my mind's still a blank when my friends are talking about girls.

Is this girl pretty?
This girl very 'chio' lehz...
I've known (x) number of girls and all are like interested in me... How? Who to choose?

Goddamnit, there you are flaunting that you you have so many female friends and being in a dilemna
But can't you see that I'm still emotionally barren, unable to think straight for these past few months?

Ok, I'm not particularly screwing anybody here with my words.
I just feel that the heavens are unfair.
Bad boys can find girlfriends as easily as going into a supermarket and getting one off the shelf.
I've heard people saying that girlfriends are used for fucking and that it's stupid not to do so after spending $$ on her?
Is it due to the fact that I'm no advocate of that thinking, so I'm destined to be alone as long as I keep that mindset?

I do not know. I seriously do not know.
I just wanna run away from all these problems and find a dark alley. And cry.
Yeah go ahead, crybaby.
Continue to lick your own wounds and wallow in self-pity.
Nobody's gonna stop and offer you comfort.
Who are you to them? Or rather question yourself,
Who am I?
What am I here for?
Why do I exist in this world for?

Bah. I just feel so... ... 'whatever'
It's not as if after all these whining things will take a turnabout
She's not gonna say, "Can we start things all over again?"
In the end, I'm still alone in this world.
Void of emtions and feelings.
After all, I'm worthy of no one in this world.
I don't think any girl would want to be in a relationship with me.
With a worthless piece of trash who indulges in self-pity.
WHATEVER!!!