As promised... first day of China-- Nanjing

As promised, I will be blogging down my China trip from Day 1. Did quite a lot of recording for the
first few days.. here goes.

Day 1. 20/05/2005
1015 Singapore Time

The plane took off at Singapore Airport at around 0800 heading to Nanjing International Airport. The flight took 4 hours and 45 minutes. On board, never expected the movies to be that great. It's the Phantom of the Opera! The movie's great, though I think it's better to describe it as a musical. Lots and lots of singing, and Christine's so pretty!!! Such big and lovely eyes, but really feel that the Phantom is kinda asking too much, by teaching Christine he actually expects her to repay him by marrying him?! He's quite vindictive, but guess it's all from his love towards Christine. Well, this shows that love does not necessarily reciprocrate. Yeah.. the Phantom's thinking too much, but still in the end he let Christine and Raoul to be together... so noble... *sob*

Anyway, according to the pilot, we will be landing in Nanjing International Airport in 1255 Nanjing Time. Lucky there is no time difference between Singapore and Nanjing, if not my biological clock will most probably be screwed. Here's some of the airport's photos..






After touch-down, one local tour guide was there waiting for us and on the bus, he asked us (cos' my family joined a tour group) some general knowledge about China. The question was to guess the language that is the most soothing to the ear. Well I guessed correctly, it is Suzhou language, and this reminds me of my friend Cai Yi... haha... oops! Sorry... didn't mean to think of another girl... haha.. Another interesting fact.... apparently in China, at the zebra crossing and traffic lights, the cars and pedestrain do not give way to each other, so it's kinda heart-lurching when crossing the roads...

In Nanjing, we saw quite a lot of places, namely one gate and one river, which is the and 中华门 and 秦淮河. For 中华门, this gate is built by the first emperor of the Ming dynasty, Zhu Yuanzhang, to defend the city. What is interesting is that all the bricks are carved with the maker's name. This kind of their assurance of quality of the bricks. In the case of the bricks failing the QC, they will be given a second chance to remake the bricks. If they fail for the second time, then they will be beheaded.. Zhu Yuanzhang's a smart ass huh. Take a look for yourself..







Then the second place is the 秦淮河. What is the photo below shows the river. In the past, on the left hand side of the river, that place is used for those who wishes to take the imperial exams to be a scholar. Yet on the right hand side, that area was filled with brothels... so in the past there's this saying... 一旁文书香， 一旁踏风尘



After the sightseeing went for dinner, and the speciality dish for Nanjing is the saltwater duck. Quite salty, as the name suggests, but compared with the other dishes that were served, it tastes bland. Think you can imagine how the dishes in China tastes like...

So this is the end of the first day.. the details for the rest of the days will be put up soon on this blog. :)

What's wrong...

Initialy wanted to tell more about the China trip, but apparently one of my friends was so emotionally distraught by some stuff and in the end, it also affected me. Well, seems that I need will be putting up the China trip to a later date..

My Sins

Your Deadly Sins

Envy: 60%

Sloth: 40%

Gluttony: 0%

Greed: 0%

Lust: 0%

Pride: 0%

Wrath: 0%

Chance You'll Go to Hell: 14%

You will die at the hands of a jealous lover. How ironic.

How Sinful Are You?

My seduction style

Your Seduction Style: Ideal Lover

You seduce people by tapping into their dreams and desires. And because of this sensitivity, you can be the ideal lover for anyone you seek. You are a shapeshifter - bringing romance, adventure, spirituality to relationships. It all depends on who your with, and what their vision of a perfect relationship is.

What Is Your Seduction Style?

My sanity

You Are 50% Normal (Somewhat Normal)

While some of your behavior is quite normal... Other things you do are downright strange You've got a little of your freak going on But you mostly keep your weirdness to yourself

How Normal Are You?

You Don't See Me

Josie and the Pussycats Soundtrack


This is the place where I sit
This is the part where I love you too much
This is as hard as it gets
Cause I'm getting tired of pretending I'm tough

I'm here if you want me
I'm yours, you can hold me
I'm empty and achin'
And tumblin' and breakin'

Cause you don't see me
And you don't need me
And you don't love me
The way I wish you would
The way I know you could

I dream a world where you understand
That I dream a million sleepless nights
Well I dream a fire when you're touching my hand
But it twists into smoke when I turn on the lights

I'm speechless and faded
It's too complicated
Is this how the book ends,
Nothing but good friends?

Cause you don't see me
And you don't need me
And you don't love me
The way I wish you would

The way I wish you would

This is the place in my heart
This is the place where I'm falling apart
Isn't this just where we met
And is this the last chance that I'll ever get

I wish I was lonely
Instead of just only
Crystal and see-through
And not enough to you

Cause you don't see me
And you don't need me
And you don't love me
The way I wish you would

Cause you don't see me
And you don't need me
And you don't love me
The way I wish you would
The way I know you could

Going away

Wonder what is happening to me recently... saw 2 people wearing the same shirt as me on 2 consecutive days... ain't I lucky or not.. and that Jo keep laughing at me, saying that being so tall isn't that good after all, can't hide from such embarassing situations. Ok whatever..

But anyway, still must thank Jo for introducing me one song, think is by Josie and the Pussycats, title being 'You don't see me'. A soothing song, so for my study group friends you can try to find this song or get it from me. Will be posting the lyrics later. Lastly, I'll be going off to Nanjing this friday morning, so bye for now and for those training in Xingyi routine, jiayou! Will miss you all..

Visit to the dentist

Went to the dentist this morning and had a checkup cum extraction... wow.. never knew my dental health's so bad... anyway took out my upper wisdom tooth and this is how it looks like..



Damn big, isn't it? Well, in total I have 3 holes now.. my bottom one haven't grow out yet. Well, it takes time...

Birthday...

Your Birthdate: December 13

Being born on the 13th day of the month should help make you a better manager and organizer, but it may also give you a tendency to dominate people a bit. You may be more responsible and self-disciplined than you realize. Sincere and honest, you are a serious, hard working individual. Your feeling are likely to seem somewhat repressed at times. You are apt to be much more practical, rational, and conscious of details. Your intolerance and insistence on complete accuracy can be irritating to some.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Haiz....

Really love my home connection.. it's a goddamn 56k!!! Spent hell of a time to do my C proficency test... took me almost 10 minutes to log in to edventure and spent an even longer time to get to the page.... damn it..

Tired out

Never felt so shagged since I've started Wushu training ever... went for training on Tuesday morning, evening and Wednesday evening as well.. My leg muscles were as if they are tearing apart... but no choice, need to prepare for this China's trip. And talking about the trip, had a very memorable experience this afternoon.

Went down to Tanjong Pagar to search for the company to pay for the air ticket... and apparently the building was opposite the International Plaza, just beside the Shell petrol station. Well, went down there and asked the security personnel about the place and almost all of them gave me totally different answers.. damn. Took almost 1 hour, cos' I was like walking from the MRT station to M hotel then back to Anson House. Seriously, walking in circles is not fun considering that your legs are aching like hell and you have a damn heavy bag on your back. In the end, walked all the way to Robinson Road to that damned office and finally made my payment... gheez.. never knew walking ard in town is so much fun, considering that almost all the people there are in office wear and you are the only clown in casual smart attire... oh well, at least that's one load off my mind already. Now waiting for the 20th to approach and get to Shanghai for my tour ^_^

Lonely No More

Rob Thomas

Now it seems to me
That you know just what to say
Words are only words
Can you show me something else
Can you swear to me that you'll always be this way
Show me how you feel
More than ever baby

[Chorus:]
I don't wanna be lonely no more
I don't wanna have to pay for this
I don't want to know the lover at my door
Is just another heartache on my list

I don't wanna be angry no more
You know I could never stand for this
So when you tell me that you love me know for sure
I don't want to be lonely anymore

Now its hard for me with my heart still on the mend
Open up to me, like you do your girlfriends
And you sing to me and it's harmony
Girl, what you do to me is everything
Make me say anything; just to get you back again
Why can we just try

[Chorus:]
I don't wanna be lonely no more
I don't wanna have to pay for this
I don't want to know the lover at my door
Is just another heartache on my list

I don't wanna be angry no more
You know I could never stand for this
So when you tell me that you love me know for sure
I don't want to be lonely anymore

What if I was good to you, what if you were good to me
What if I could hold you till I feel you move inside of me
What if it was paradise, what if we were symphonies
What if I gave all my life to find some way to stand beside you

[Chorus:]
I don't wanna be lonely no more
I don't wanna have to pay for this
I don't want to know the lover at my door
Is just another heartache on my list

I don't wanna be angry no more
You know I could never stand for this
So when you tell me that you love me know for sure
I don't want to be lonely anymore

I don't wanna be lonely anymore [x3]

不小心

宇恒

不小心听见你想说的话 我知道 因为我看见了你的笑
不小心说了你想说的话 没办法 大不了说完大声笑

谁知道我们在一起是这样 听的看的哭的笑的 都那么一样
我喜欢陶哲 你说他实在太赞 我说有部电影 你说我已知道

* 不小心就这样 生活变得那么简单
多出了一个你什么都变得不复杂
不小心就这样 就算下雨天
我也看到阳光 还有什么能够比有你更好

Doo doo doo doo doo doo

不小心看见你眼睛的漂亮 我知道 我已失去方向
不小心被你牵了我的手 你知道 我宁愿没有方向

谁知道我们在一起是这样 每分每秒都彼此依赖对方
所以就算前方有再多难关 只要紧紧依靠什么都难不到

Repeat *

不小心就这样 生活那么简单 多出了一个你什么都变得不复杂
不小心就这样 就算下雨天 我也看到阳光 还有什么比这个好

不小心就这样 爱就是那么的简单
我想你的烦恼 你来分享我的欢笑
不小心就这样 我因为你而觉得很骄傲
还有什么能够比有你更好

Doo doo doo doo doo doo

微笑的理由

宇恒/梁静茹

茹: 哭 在我肩上痛快地哭
我安静感觉你眼泪的温度
希望对你有些帮助

恒: 你 总是轻易地把我看清楚
就算日子还有些辛苦有你陪伴也很幸福

茹: 沉默
恒: 微笑
茹: 哭泣
恒: 拥抱
合: 只要紧紧陪在我身边
茹: 你的脆弱
恒: 你的难过
合: 我都懂

茹: 最难过时候就会想起你
恒: 其实你已经给了我勇气
茹: 不管今天或明天
恒: 各分东西 oh ~
茹: 我们都要活得比现在更美丽

恒: 生命里有人来了又离去
茹: 我们都还是
合: 老脾气
恒: 难得坚持也是种幸福
茹: 到最后我们都找到了
合: 微笑的理由

茹: 看着你我自然就会知道
恒: 就知道 生命中有太多不同的味道
合: oh~
茹: 一起寻找
合: 最真实的笑

茹: 最难过时候就会想起你
恒: 其实你已经给了我勇气
茹: 不管今天或明天
恒: 各分东西 oh
茹: 我们都要
恒: 我们都要
合: 活得比现在更美丽 oh
茹: 你给了我
恒: 勇气

合: 生命里有人来了又离去
我们都还是 老脾气
难得坚持也是种幸福
恒: 到最后我们都找到了
茹: 我们都找到了
合: 微笑的理由

恋上一个人

恋上一个人 就容易失了神
曾经为爱流的泪 乾了又为爱心疼
我的痴 我的真 要给多少才完整
只怕你不懂 我这样的人 非要等到爱远走
分两头 才知道 多不舍你走 留在午夜梦回醉
掏了心 伤心对自己说 非要等到爱远走 分两头
才知道 谁都怕寂寞 一直有句话要说 你是我
今生今世的守候 恋上一个人 等到爱远走
恋上一个人 舍不得你走 恋上一个人

Success

Yeah! Think I am slowly mastering 2 great skills... hey don't look down upon these skills... they're the most ultimate skills in the whole universe... They are:

1. 强颜欢笑神功 and

2. 口是心非神功

Well what one of my friends said is quite true... If you really like a person then go ahead and do your best, but I do think it is a case of overdoing something will seriously like ask the person to piss up a rope... But eventually, I think it is a case of hopeless and pathetic wishful thinking in the very first place. Oh well, as confidence in me ebbs away as time passes by, perhaps it's time for me to be GAY? Muahaha. Siao. Rather be monk than to be that faggot. Or what... I'll just be a swinging bachelor if I'm not marrried by 30.. Haha.. a bit extreme, but, come to think of it, it's quite fun.. that is, if you can withstand loneliness... Muahaahahahahha....


Whatever.

Interesting circle of friends...

Just came back from this morning's Mount Faber training and gosh, it's quite fun.. though not really that fun cos' John's not there. Anyway trained till 11+ and went for lunch at Harbourfront, and that's where the interesting part kicks in.. never realised that I had a 85 year-old friend... well apparently she's born in the year 1920..

Ok. I'm being lame. Please pardon me... But anyway I do think that I'm going crazy... will be going for training at Hui Hua later this evening...

Horrendous Me

Went for a swim earlier this evening and after that, went for a haircut. IT'S GODDAMN HORRENDOUS!!!



Fresh out from the barber



After some trimming

Well guess everyone can see that BOTH hairstyle sucks.. big time. Damn... this is the first time my hair's so sucky and ugly. I'm totally disgusted with myself man..

最后的感触

This shall be my last entry about her... hopefully from now on I can try to get my life back to normal.. Well, for those who really bother to read through, see if you can find some hidden words inside it ^_^

我以为世上再也没有任何人能打动我的心
只到认识你之后 我才发现了这世界的美妙

在梦里，我是多么的开心，多么的幸福
因为有你在身旁 与我一起分享我的喜悦
但在现实生活中 我们之间的距离是多么的遥远

也许是我的一厢情愿 认为一个人若能对感情专一
就能够换来同样的感情付出

两个人的世界都会因彼此的出现而变得丰富起来
能够一起生活 一起把人生漆上缤纷色彩

可是 梦归梦 我竟然忘了最基本的一点
在感情方面 不是付出多少就能得回多少
对方也不一定会有一样的感觉

本想在她本人面前坦然告白
但未何却不敢开口， 连说话时都变得吞吞吐吐

只到现在 一切都变得透彻无比
原来 一直以来都是我自己的一厢情愿
我们之间 只不过是很单纯的友谊关系罢了
我眼前的路便亮了 但是上苍还是不停地下着雨
是否是在为某件事而哭泣呢？

The light

It is raining right now, but for me, I can see the light to my answers now. Perhaps in the first place, it is my wishful thinking that things will work out the way I wanted to. Well, from today onwards, let me lock it away and never to bring it out ever again...

I finally crossed the finishing line. Alone.

Ok. Besides all these, thanks to Junqin, I find these sayings quite true.. about love..

All the good ones are taken.

Love is a hole in the heart.

Sex is a three-letter word which needs some old-fashioned four-letter words to convey its full meaning.

Before you find your handsome prince, you've got to kiss a lot of frogs.

Pieces of crap

What the hell has happened to this world? Girls are getting more and more promiscuous... it is like their virginity means nothing to them... so is it true that good girls are really getting harder and harder to come by? Or is it like what my friends say, while good guys try to find a decent girl to get into a relationship, those that are decent will eventually fall for those bastards who think of nothing but only ways and means of how to get them into bed.

Take a look at The Straits Times article dated 7th May 2005. You, or rather I, are in for a deep shock. Girls as young as 15 are no longer innocent. Is this the result of the over-exposure of undesired materials and these impressionistic teenagers want to try out. Think they are really itching for a good fuck. Well, if that's really the case, I seriously think that I and Loowee will be Reverend Fu and Reverend Pang when we reach 30.

The world is seriously getting more and more fucked up. Good girls are, in a way, violated by bastards who want a good fuck. Slutty girls are itching for even heavier stuff (BDSM? God knows). When I take a look at myself, I don't consider myself particularly handsome or charming. If I were to grade myself for manliness, I think I'll give myself a -3 on a scale of 10... And this comes to my final reasoning. I admit that I'm a coward who does not dare to fight for my own happiness. I thought of asking her the question again, but the scene from 3 months ago appears in my mind. I remembered how firmly she rejected me. Well, be it a SNAG or whatnot, but I felt that the friendship kinda deteriorated initially. I seriously do not want to lose a friendship that I treasure in my heart. If we are not fated to be together in a relationship, then what I'll do is to hide my feelings towards her and act normally. Though as always, I feel my heart as if being sliced up at the end of the day. But if this type of relationship is the best for the both of us, then I think I rather make myself unhappy rather to let her be unhappy. There is no point in both of us being unhappy at the same time. If my unhappiness can exchange for her happiness and less troubles, then I will do so.

'To love a person does not mean that you need to be with the person. If the other party is happy, you will be happy'
Anonymous

Well, let me use more time to confirm. If this is still what I think is correct before the China trip, then I will do what I've decided to do. It hurts. Well, after all, I've been through 1 1/2 years to get over someone whom was not 'officially' my girlfriend. What more for this time when the mood swings are even stronger then the past? Perhaps I need 3 years this time to totally get over it... or even more.

因为 (Thanks to Simin who introduced me this song ^_^ )

总在我家巷口和你分手
仿佛偶像剧一样 觉得我们就要发生些什么

总在回家时候不知所措
想再打电话给你 可是再见刚刚才说过

有一种想要拥抱你的冲动 想静静看着你的笑容
让你藏在怀中 直到我每天的尽头

因为想一个人而寂寞 因为爱一个人而温柔
因为有一个梦而执着 因为等一个人而折磨
因为想一个人而解脱 因为爱一个人而宽容
因为有一个梦而放纵 因为等一个人而漂泊

因为想一个人而寂寞 因为爱一个人而温柔
像夜的蒙眬 你的深情难懂 我的世界因为你而不同

因为想一个人而解脱 因为爱一个人而宽容
像风的自由 你的深情难留 你的背影 是我最美丽的所有

依然是朋友

宇恒

情人节的前一天 他离开你身边
只剩下你无止境的想念

* 那一夜我陪着你 你哭了一整夜
你是否知道 我对他(也)一样很想念

直到有一天 我和他碰面
在那间 我们常去的咖啡店

才知道 有些感受 我和他谁都不曾说出口
我们之间 隐藏了什么 除了我自己没人懂
可是你 你怎么说 你知道后是不是从此避开我
OH 我一样难过 多希望我们不曾相识过 *

Repeat *

才知道 有些感受 我和他谁都不曾说出口
我们都是最好的朋友 谁会有勇气去开口
不再哭 不再难过 我们还有好大好大的天空 Oh
故事的最后 我们都不曾失去过 什么

我们依然是朋友 Wu

痴心绝对

想用一杯Latte把你灌醉 好让你能多爱我一点
暗恋的滋味 你不懂这种感觉 早有人陪的你永远不会

看见你和他在我面前 证明我的爱只是愚昧
你不懂我的 那些憔悴 是你永远不曾过的体会

为你付出那种伤心你永远不了解 我又何苦勉强自己爱上你的一切
你又狠狠逼退 我的防备 静静关上门来默数我的泪

明知道让你离开他的世界不可能会 我还傻傻等到奇迹出现的那一天
直到那一天 你会发现 真正爱你的人独自守着伤悲

曾经我以为我自己会后悔 不想爱的太多痴心绝对
为你落第一滴泪 为你做任何改变 也唤不回你对我的坚决

Thinking aloud

In light of the recent stuff that happened around me, I think it is high time to take a look at my more personal life. Should I actually let my feelings towards her die off and take my time to recover from something that is actually only a one-way traffic? Or should I actually go ahead to make things really, really clear and cling on to a fragile glimmer of hope that things would work out?

I have the tendency to crap nonsense, but what I feel now is that I have lesser and lesser common topics with her, and things are drifting further and further away. For me, it is like from despair to a total loss of hope and confidence. A voice is telling me to give it up altogether, and it is getting louder and louder by the day.

Well, no matter what other people say, all I know is that so long as she is happy and contented, it doesn't matter to me who she is with. What I can do is only share her happiness from afar and tell myself not to have anymore conflicts with myself once I sort out my own thinking. Time can heal all wounds, it is a matter of time. Thing is, how long...

Another realization today

Shifted my stuff from hall back to home today, and yet as I packed my things, I realised that I've grown to be attached with the room and my roomie.. past events just flashed past.. like the crunches that we did together, playing poker cards when we did not have our laptops, playing Gunbound together... so much things had happened in that humble little room. Yet, today, it just kinda signifies that our affinity to stay together as room mates.. well, I think it is the female hormornes playing tricks with my mind. Tears kind of well up in my eyes, but they did not fall, thankfully. Perhaps what my close friend says is true. I really devote myself to any friendships that I have known throughout these years. Well, I can only wait for year 3 to see if we have the affinity to live together and bond again, like what and how we did last year... thanks for being there, loowee!

Some reflections...

First of all, had my Logic Design exam earlier this afternoon, and only 1 word can describe it. BAD. Very bad. Apparently what I've mugged for the past 2 days couldn't be applied at all, so guess that I'll be taking this subject again for the next academic year. Low morale.

Had a talk with one of my close friends(hopefully I have the honour of using this term) about my recent stuff. Well, guess after the long 45 minutes talk, it seems that I really care, albeit too much, about my friends around me. My intentions are good, but it is this idiotic mouth of me that sometimes put things in a real bad shape. Which is really screwing me upside down right now. I admit that most of the time I try to put bad things in a much better light to encourage the person, be it in Wushu or other stuff. But I realised that I forgot one main point: other people have different dreams and aspirations. What I'm doing right now is akin to forcing my ideas upon the other person. In the process, the action pisses the person off, and at the same time fustrating myself. So what's the point of doing so? People change to adapt to the environment without losing the true nature of themselves. But I have failed miserably in this area.

I change myself to the environment, yet failing to retain my true self. Yet, when sometimes little things snowball into one huge avalanche and the catalyst is lit up, things gets blown out of proportion. Result? People get pissed off with me, I get to confirm my twisted sense of friendship and in the end, friends around me start to leave one by one. True, I dare say that I can survive without friends, but when I take a step back and view the entire occurence, I can conclude only one thing. People can accept me, the friend who knows what to say and how to put things in a better shape and tone when it gets screwed. Not me, who screws the person, directly or indirectly, so as to let them know that the outside world is not as perfect or as nice as what they think. There are much, much worse bastards out there who can be goddamn nice to you yet be a bloody backstabber behind you.

I rather be hated now then to let them learn the hard way in the outside world. Yet nobody seems to be able to comprehend my actions until I tell them the reasons for doing so. Is it true that people will only know what is pain when they have gone through it? Apparently so. Well, at least for this time, I know that things are really in a very bad shape. It is said that cracks in friendship takes time to heal, but my question is:

1. Will it ever heal and
2. In the event of such things occuring, what would my actions be?

A friend who can put things in a much better light or a bastard who says what comes naturally to the mind and as a result screw things even more? And let them know that hey, I'm actually such a person and not always the friend that you thought I was?

At least for this incident, it is a good time for me to take a step back and look at myself and my actions. Should I be, in future, really myself and let my friends around me to know and let them decide whether I'm still worthy of the friendship? Or the friend that they have wanted to get to know and as a result, put my true self into a plastic bag and throw it into the deepest waters in the ocean? Seriously, I can't find the answer as of now.

Amazed... by myself

I am simply amazed on how things can change with a few words, that sometimes come out when I feel that my mask falls out with me. So much for being myself and being less crappy as my new year resolution. Apparently these just blow past me like a breeze, having so many yet failing to abide none of them. So now apparently it seems that I mus t continue to be less of myself so as to be able to maintain a healthy friendship while I slowly poison myself psychologically into another personality? So must I be schizophrenic, having split personalities to my surrounding people and be a bastard when I stare, in the mirror, the creature that is sneering at me also?

I do not wish to say anything further. If what I say hurts people, then I rather be a loner who always keep to himself and not expose myself any opportunities to broaden my social circle, and eventually be those whom are branded as 'outcasts'? And allow myself to waste my life away just because whatever I say will hurt people? It really seems to be the time where I shall keep to my resolutions and if they find me appalling, then, for God's sake, leave me. It doesn't matter whether it is done explicitly or implicitly. I don't give a f***ing care about it.