Pieces of crap

What the hell has happened to this world? Girls are getting more and more promiscuous... it is like their virginity means nothing to them... so is it true that good girls are really getting harder and harder to come by? Or is it like what my friends say, while good guys try to find a decent girl to get into a relationship, those that are decent will eventually fall for those bastards who think of nothing but only ways and means of how to get them into bed.

Take a look at The Straits Times article dated 7th May 2005. You, or rather I, are in for a deep shock. Girls as young as 15 are no longer innocent. Is this the result of the over-exposure of undesired materials and these impressionistic teenagers want to try out. Think they are really itching for a good fuck. Well, if that's really the case, I seriously think that I and Loowee will be Reverend Fu and Reverend Pang when we reach 30.

The world is seriously getting more and more fucked up. Good girls are, in a way, violated by bastards who want a good fuck. Slutty girls are itching for even heavier stuff (BDSM? God knows). When I take a look at myself, I don't consider myself particularly handsome or charming. If I were to grade myself for manliness, I think I'll give myself a -3 on a scale of 10... And this comes to my final reasoning. I admit that I'm a coward who does not dare to fight for my own happiness. I thought of asking her the question again, but the scene from 3 months ago appears in my mind. I remembered how firmly she rejected me. Well, be it a SNAG or whatnot, but I felt that the friendship kinda deteriorated initially. I seriously do not want to lose a friendship that I treasure in my heart. If we are not fated to be together in a relationship, then what I'll do is to hide my feelings towards her and act normally. Though as always, I feel my heart as if being sliced up at the end of the day. But if this type of relationship is the best for the both of us, then I think I rather make myself unhappy rather to let her be unhappy. There is no point in both of us being unhappy at the same time. If my unhappiness can exchange for her happiness and less troubles, then I will do so.

'To love a person does not mean that you need to be with the person. If the other party is happy, you will be happy'
Anonymous

Well, let me use more time to confirm. If this is still what I think is correct before the China trip, then I will do what I've decided to do. It hurts. Well, after all, I've been through 1 1/2 years to get over someone whom was not 'officially' my girlfriend. What more for this time when the mood swings are even stronger then the past? Perhaps I need 3 years this time to totally get over it... or even more.